Ci sono nazioni scomparse per ragioni politiche, come la Jugoslavia o la Repubblica Democratica Tedesca. Ma la Storia è anche ricca di paesi dissoltisi per eventi bizzarri, imprevedibili, tragici e, spesso, ridicoli: proprio quelli che Gideon Defoe presenta in questo 'Atlante dei paesi che non esistono più', di confini ormai sfumati, di antiche ambizioni e di pessime idee (per esempio, insultare gli ambasciatori di Gengis Khan e pensare di farla franca insieme al proprio piccolo regno). Guerre e trattati di pace sono state occasioni per ridisegnare le mappe e, complice qualche errore qua e là, creare zone franche i cui abitanti subito si dichiaravano indipendenti. Ricchi occidentali annoiati o avventurieri con pochi scrupoli fondavano una propria nazione ignorando i confini preesistenti e gli abitanti autoctoni, che magari volevano solo essere lasciati in pace. Aspiranti coloni si facevano fregare da descrizioni di terre meravigliose e fertilissime che, curiosamente, nessuno abitava ancora e che potevano essere acquistate con un modesto contributo. Ripercorrete le vicende della Repubblica di Cospaia, del Regno celeste della grande pace, della Grande Repubblica di Rough & Ready, del Regno dorato di Silla, del Libero stato del collo di bottiglia. E se volete fondare la vostra nazione seguite le regole auree per prosperare: non dichiarate guerra ai vicini se sono più grossi di voi e scegliete un nome breve (non come la Repubblica sovietica dei soldati e costruttori di fortezze di Naissaar).

Countries die. Sometimes it's murder, sometimes it's by accident, and sometimes it's because they were so ludicrous they didn't deserve to exist in the first place. Occasionally they explode violently. A few slip away almost unnoticed. Often the cause of death is either 'got too greedy' or 'Napoleon turned up'. Now and then they just hold a referendum and vote themselves out of existence. This is an atlas of 48 nations that fell off the map. The polite way of writing an obituary is: dwell on the good bits, gloss over the embarrassing stuff. This book refuses to do so, because these dead nations are so full of schemers, racists, and con men that it's impossible to skip the embarrassing stuff. Because of this - and because treating nation-states with too much reverence is the entire problem with pretty much everything - these accounts are not concerned with adding to the earnest flag saluting in the world, however nice some of the flags might be.

NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Adventure? Yes, more than one! Derring-do? Yes! Storms? Sea monsters? Rival pirates? Of course! Cameos by frequently anachronistic historical figures?  You betcha! All that and more.

Not since Moby-Dick. . . . No, not since Treasure Island. . . . Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a group of seafarers  to rival The Pirates!, and their leader, the greatest ocean-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time on the bounding main somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition.

Galapagos, 1837. Uno sgangherato gruppo di pirati vive nell'ozio, pensando solo a fare il filo alle ragazze dell'isola e a costruire castelli con le meduse morte che si raccolgono sulla spiaggia. Fino a quando il loro capitano, preoccupato per lo stato in cui vive la sua ciurma, non decide che è giunto il momento di lanciarsi in una nuova avventura. Grazie all'incontro fortuito con il giovane Darwin, impegnato nella spedizione scientifica che lo renderà presto famoso, comincia un grottesco viaggio che condurrà questo gruppo di assurdi pirati dalla natura lussureggiante delle isole Galapagos alle strade grigie e affollate della Londra vittoriana. Qui, tra donne fantasma, scimpanzé parlanti, vescovi diabolici, terribili omicidi ed elefanti radioattivi, i nostri strampalati eroi vivranno mille esilaranti peripezie. Età di lettura: da 12 anni.

After adventures with Charles Darwin, Captain Ahab, and Karl Marx, The Pirate Captain faces off against his toughest—though not his biggest—challenge yet: Napoleon Bonaparte.
 
Bruised from a crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, the Pirate Captain decides that it's time for a career change. Before long, his loyal crew, much to their dismay, find themselves en route to St. Helena, a bleak speck of an island a thousand miles from anywhere. But the Captain's plan for a quiet life rearing bees is interrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island—the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Is the island's twenty-eight mile circumference big enough to contain two of history's greatest egos? Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? And who has the best hat?  Once again, Gideon Defoe has given us an exciting, swashbuckling tale of lavish tea parties, planning regulations, and raw political ambition.

London, 1840: Wagner's latest opera plays to packed houses while disgruntled workers gather in crowded pubs to eat ice cream and plan the downfall of the bourgeoisie. Meanwhile, the Pirate Captain finds himself incarcerated at Scotland Yard, in a case of mistaken identity.

Discovering that his doppelgänger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot that involves intellectual giants, enormous beards, and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people.

Includes, at no additional charge, The Wit and Wisdom of the Pirate Captain—a Major Philosophical Work.

On the Matter of Love:
If you're off to fight in a battle, snap a ship's biscuit in half and give your girlfriend the other half. When you meet again, they will match—like two halves of a single soul! Hopefully, this will stop her sleeping with other men.

On Life in General:
Life is like a big shanty. Everything will be fine so long as everyone sings in harmony. But if someone plays a duff note on the accordion or tries to break-dance at a sensitive bit, then there will be all sorts of trouble, mark my words.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists

Not since Moby-Dick...No, not since Treasure Island...Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition.

Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure.

While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab

Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel–purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, The Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward.

Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world's most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain's novel in progress (a bodice ripper, of course), whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty-singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dramatic climax in which the Pirate Captain's Prize Ham saves the day!

Move over, Herman Melville.